Reading Romance While Demisexual

An illustration of Amina the hedgehog, reading a romance book with hearts on it, while under a snug demisexual flag blanket. Title: Reading romance while demisexual. A discussion about my experiences of reading romance, my struggle with connection, and why i love friends to lovers.

I love romance stories. I love the idea that people may cross paths with countless others in their lifetime, only to find someone (or someones!) who they grow to care for and love. I love the idea that people can grow a bond so intimate and so tender that they can build a bridge that crosses valleys of hurt and pain and loneliness. I love the idea that someone can grow to understand and accept you in ways that others may not, and to cherish you despite your flaws. I love love, and I love that love can feel so transcendent and beautiful.

But lately, I’ve been reflecting on my relationship with romance stories. I’ve felt that I often occupy this weird space of really enjoying romance stories whilst also struggling to connect with them. It sounds a little contradictory, right? You’d think that the romance is the highlight of a story – so why can’t I usually connect with the romance and the relationship? I never really interrogated this, but recently, I’ve been mulling over these feelings, trying to parse and explores these complicated thoughts that I have.

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Our Friend is Here! Pride Month Edition – A Discussion with Joel, Booktuber Behind Fictional Fates; If Your Activism Isn’t Intersectional, It Isn’t Activism

Our Friend is Here! Pride Month Edition - A Discussion with Joel, Booktuber Behind Fictional Fates; If Your Activism Isn't Intersectional, It Isn't Activism. Illustration of Xiaolong with her arms out wide, with Joel as a lion cub wearing a sun crown ,winking, and holding a

An illustration of Xiaolong the axolotl, waving her hand and winking at you while holding up a flag with the inclusive Pride flag - horizontal stripes of black, brown, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple.

Our Friend is Hereis a guest feature at The Quiet Pond, where authors, creatives, and fellow readers, are invited to ‘visit’ the Pond! In Our Friend is Here! guest posts, our visitors (as their very own unique character!) have a friendly conversation about anything related to books or being a reader — and become friends with Xiaolong and friends.

Pride Month is a month-long event at The Quiet Pond, where during the month of June, queer authors and bookish content creators are invited to celebrate being queer, queer books, and their experiences of being a queer reader. Find the introduction post for Pride Month at The Quiet Pond here.

It’s been an amazing month, friends. It’s been a delight to have 21 amazing queer book bloggers and authors visit us to talk about all things queer and also an incredible honour to have such brilliant people give their time and energy to be a part of our little Pride Month series. It was a lot of hard work – for all of our guests and myself – but I do not regret a second of it all.

Pride Month at the Pond aimed to highlight the intersectional ideas and voices within the queer community. Queer experiences can be so interesting, varied, and complex – which is what makes the queer community and its people so beautiful – and our guests have done a stunning job at showcasing the beauty and power in their voices and their experiences.

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Our Friend is Here! Pride Month Edition – An Interview with Shenwei, Book Blogger; On The Intersections of Being Asian, Queer and Trans, and On Queer Fantasies!

Our Friend is Here! Pride Month Edition - An Interview with Shenwei, Book Blogger; On The Intersections of Being Asian, Queer and Trans, and On Queer Fantasies! An illustration of Xiaolong the axolotl, with her arms spread out wide like she is showing off someone, with Shenwei as an eagle owl, wearing glasses and a nonbinary flag and inclusive prideflag.

An illustration of Xiaolong the axolotl, waving her hand and winking at you while holding up a flag with the inclusive Pride flag - horizontal stripes of black, brown, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. Our Friend is Hereis a guest feature at The Quiet Pond, where authors, creatives, and fellow readers, are invited to ‘visit’ the Pond! In Our Friend is Here! guest posts, our visitors (as their very own unique character!) have a friendly conversation about anything related to books or being a reader — and become friends with Xiaolong and friends.

Pride Month is a month-long event at The Quiet Pond, where during the month of June, queer authors and bookish content creators are invited to celebrate being queer, queer books, and their experiences of being a queer reader. Find the introduction post for Pride Month at The Quiet Pond here.

As Pride Month at the Pond draws to a close, I’ve been feeling so much gratitude for the wonderful guests that I’ve had the pleasure of hosting in the last month – and it’s been such a joy to have such amazing people visit us at the Pond. In this Pride Month series, we’ve done our best to showcase the intersectional voices and authors within the book community, and highlight why intersectionality is not only important, but also absolutely necessary.
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Our Friend is Here! Pride Month Edition – A Discussion with Kait, Book Blogger behind Kaitlyn’s Cozy Reading Corner; My Journey Through Queerness (Or: Kait Decides to Ramble for 3,000 Words)

Our Friend is Here! Pride Month Edition - A Discussion with Kait, Book Blogger behind Kaitlyn's Cozy Reading Corner; My Journey Through Queerness (Or: Kait Decides to Ramble for 3,000 Words). Illustration of Xiaolong holding her arms up wide, with Kait as a pug wearing a purple hoodie and holding a panda plushie.

An illustration of Xiaolong the axolotl, waving her hand and winking at you while holding up a flag with the inclusive Pride flag - horizontal stripes of black, brown, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple.

Our Friend is Hereis a guest feature at The Quiet Pond, where authors, creatives, and fellow readers, are invited to ‘visit’ the Pond! In Our Friend is Here! guest posts, our visitors (as their very own unique character!) have a friendly conversation about anything related to books or being a reader — and become friends with Xiaolong and friends.

Pride Month is a month-long event at The Quiet Pond, where during the month of June, queer authors and bookish content creators are invited to celebrate being queer, queer books, and their experiences of being a queer reader. Find the introduction post for Pride Month at The Quiet Pond here.

Throughout our Pride Month series at the Pond, we have had the honour and privilege to share so many people’s stories about their queer experiences and their varied feelings about what it means to be ‘queer’. A theme we have seen in these stories that we’ve been lucky to share with you all is that how people come into their queer identities is not a straight line – it can be a complicated mess, one where people go back and forth, and may even take time to figure out.

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Our Friend is Here! Pride Month Edition – May, Book Blogger, and Zhui Ning, Editor, Share Their Favourite Queer Asian Reads!

Our Friend is Here! Pride Month Edition - May, Book Blogger, and Zhui Ning, Editor, Share Their Favourite Queer Asian Reads! Illustration of Xiaolong the axolotl, her arms out wide with May as an elephant with a caparison with bisexual colours, and Zhui Ning with an asexual flag coloured duck wearing funky glasses.

An illustration of Xiaolong the axolotl, waving her hand and winking at you while holding up a flag with the inclusive Pride flag - horizontal stripes of black, brown, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. Our Friend is Hereis a guest feature at The Quiet Pond, where authors, creatives, and fellow readers, are invited to ‘visit’ the Pond! In Our Friend is Here! guest posts, our visitors (as their very own unique character!) have a friendly conversation about anything related to books or being a reader — and become friends with Xiaolong and friends.

Pride Month is a month-long event at The Quiet Pond, where during the month of June, queer authors and bookish content creators are invited to celebrate being queer, queer books, and their experiences of being a queer reader. Find the introduction post for Pride Month at The Quiet Pond here.

During the month of May, I invited an array of Asian authors and content creators to talk what being Asian means to them and how that intersects with literature and books. For Pride Month and our ongoing celebration of queer identity and queer experiences, it feels right to bring the two together and celebrate queer Asian books.

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